Less Stressful Life verses Retaining the Drive

Amit Singh, Singapore


"I'm sorry, but it's time someone finally spoke the truth. It's time someone waded in on behalf of the ultimate underdog. It's time someone shook free of the shackles of contemporary convention and proclaimed loud and clear, "Stress is good." For too long has stress been demonised, vilified and made to feel totally unwanted. But the truth is, it's just misunderstood. It's the victim of dodgy PR. It's only crime is to have fallen foul of a conspiracy of pamby, new age do-gooders."

-- Rohan Candappa, author of the "Little Book of Stress", writing in the Financial Times, Oct 17, 1998

Preamble

1. This is supposed to be the report of the work of a committee. But to be less formal about it, it is actually the story of why a group of 15 otherwise sane, and fully-employed Singaporeans, all with enough commitments at work and at home, decided to add to their personal stress levels by taking up the challenge of looking into the above dilemma, namely, how to reduce stress while making sure that Singapore continues to do well?

2. We spent a total of more than a dozen meetings, more than 2 hours each time, deliberating the problem, sometimes in a conference room at the Ministry of Community Development building, other times at various government offices around Singapore. Wherever space permitted.

3. As everyone had their own bosses to answer to at the same time, these meetings were kept strictly to schedule. We became collective clock watchers, even when absorbed in heated debates as to the causes of stress in Singapore.

4. And we gave stress to other Singaporeans as well. Over a period of 14 months, from Oct 97 to Dec 98, we met with a total of over 300 other Singaporeans to get their inputs. They were students, office workers, unionists, managers, lawyers, volunteers, housewives, CEOs, etc... You will hear some of their voices in this report. not necessarily bad in themselves, but they are too restrictive, too narrow. It is time to widen the definition. And doing that calls for creative approaches, from every one who forms a part of Singapore society, from the Government to employers to parents and the individual.

12. Singaporeans also agree that Singapore must retain the drive. As individuals, we all yearn for the opportunity to sit back and relax, but no one wants a country whose standard of living starts to decline. So, even if we moan and groan about it, we know it is all up to us, the individuals, if we do not want Singapore to start sliding. We are, after all, a country with limited resources. The competition from other countries will only get more intense in the coming years.

13. So how do we do that? The nature of Singapore's economy is changing. We are becoming a knowledge-based economy. We are now competing not with third world countries, but with more developed ones. When we fight to get a semiconductor factory to locate in Singapore, the countries we are up against are not your emerging economies, but established ones like Germany or Finland.

14. The car that can race from Tuas to Changi in 30 minutes is not necessarily the car that can conquer uphill slopes. Success in one league does not guarantee success in another.

15. We do not pretend to offer answers that will make the problem disappear. We cannot work miracles. What we can offer are only ideas and suggestions, for Singapore and Singaporeans to consider, chew on, and hopefully act upon.

16. But first, an elaboration of what the problem is all about.

What makes us so stressed?

17. We now live in an era of intense competition and rapid changes, all due to globalisation and advances in information technology. These create much stress. Many of us complain of information overload. We also complain of the sense that we are losing control. These phenomena are increasingly common. 18. We often couch our complaints of stress in terms of pressures on time. The child has no time to cope with all the homework he gets at school. The adult has no time to relax or to pursue

own pockets.

26. Extra-curricular activities, which ideally should be a way to de-stress, is viewed by some students as additional work. Parents add to the stress when they pressurise their children into taking up ECA not to their inclination.

Stress at work

27. As for the adult, there is stress both as a worker, and as a parent. Added stress comes from having to juggle these roles within time and energy constraints.

28. Stress also comes from what some people call "the system" in Singapore. These include a tendency to equate staying late with working hard, a preference for paper qualifications over work experience, and older workers feeling threatened by younger ones.

29. Some unionists note that it is unfair to compare younger workers, who have no family commitments and better paper qualifications, with older ones, many of whom have limited education, and are less familiar with technological advances.

30. For some workers, the Government's policy of attracting foreign talent is also felt to be a source of stress. While Singaporeans can appreciate the need for foreign talent at the national level, they cannot help but feel threatened at the individual level. Some fear there will be glass ceilings for locals once the import of foreign talent becomes a norm.

31. Less educated Singaporeans fear lower-priced, better-educated foreigners taking away their jobs. An example: graduates of Indian universities taking up jobs here as clerks, competing with less educated locals.

32. Some Singaporeans see foreign nurses here as in it for the money, rather than a commitment to nursing. They complain that instead of lightening the burden of local nurses, they add to it instead because they need close supervision and guidance.

33. For the Singaporean who goes regional, added stress comes in the form of having to re-align family commitments and schedules, and adapting to an alien culture. These, however, are not necessarily harmful, as long as the individual is sufficiently prepared. The stress becomes everyone fit in. This reinforces the sense of helplessness among some Singaporeans."

41. Singaporeans, especially younger ones, clamour for a sense of control in their lives, and a sense of choice. They argue that if they have a sense of control, they will feel less stress. Indeed, if Singapore is a pressure cooker, the individual Singaporean asks himself this question: "Am I the cook or the cooked?"

42. Singaporeans feel that they are just economic digits in the Government's overall plans for the economy. Exhortations are oriented overwhelmingly towards the economic. The state, it is argued, provides little sense of the individual as a total being, with social, psychological and spiritual dimensions.

A narrow definition of success

43. Stress is defined very narrowly in Singapore, according to academic, material and economic benchmarks. And as individuals derive their sense of self-worth from these benchmarks, stress results. The narrow boundaries of these benchmarks cannot accommodate many people.

44. A narrow sense of self-worth has helped to maintain Singapore's competitive edge, by feeding the desire or hunger to excel in the academic sphere and the workplace. It has resulted in a society that places high achievers on a pedestal. But at the same time, it has also damaged the self-esteem of those with average ability.

45. On the academic front, a student at Stanford University in the US puts it poignantly: "Pressure comes from watching other Singaporeans take the same classes I do, doing better in them than me, and knowing that the difference will be used against me some day, simply because paper qualifications are so relied upon in Singapore."

46. For the Singaporean whose paper qualifications are less than impressive, the alternative route to success is through material wealth. A student at the University of California at Berkeley comments wryly: "A friend with a 2.4 GPA is considered somewhat of an outcast. Fortunately for him, those who commented on his GPA also had the opportunity to comment on his new car."

47. Because of the emphasis on economic Some people consider Singapore's narrow definition of success as a form of social snobbery. Inflexible social norms, it is argued, encourages social stigmatisation.

55. This is worth further study as too much social stigmatisation can have a debilitating effect on society and be a drain on individual productivity. The person who feels stigmatised is less inclined to put his best foot forward.

56. By and large, society does not accord achievement in the arts and sports with the same level of recognition it gives to academic and economic achievements. Like the saying "a prophet is not recognised in his own country", Singaporeans who are talented in music and drama often have to go abroad to be recognised first, before Singapore society will recognise them as such.

57. Singaporeans who are inclined towards pursuits like poetry or dance often suppress these inclinations for fear of being stigmatised or ostracised. Someone with a passion for astronomy may for instance be compelled by societal pressure to take up economics instead.

Loss of buzz

58. Singaporeans who feel that they have to fit into roles prescribed by society feel stressed because it is like trying to fit square pegs into round holes. Stress stems from the suppression of individuality. Creative energy that could be channelled into creative and constructive pursuits is instead spent on suppression of the self, to conform to society.

59. It takes energy to conform. It is debilitating to the individual and an expensive price society pays for the conformity of its members. In fact, it could be argued that Singaporeans' famous apathy is the direct result of energy used up in conforming.

60. The more serious consequence to society is the loss of dynamism and the death of “buzz". Singapore recognises loss in the form of people, especially talented individuals, who migrate, but a less obvious form of loss is people who "switch off".

61. Singer Bob Dylan once said: "What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."

desire to keep up with their peers materially.

68. Singapore is fortunate in that the cultural underpinnings of our society are such that there is a genuine desire to do well. There has always been a strong drive to succeed. Now, on the threshold of the 21st century, as Singapore looks forward to becoming a developed nation, the challenge is how to make sure that we do not become totally stressed out by that drive.

69. And for that, these are some key ideas we hope to share with Singaporeans:

I. At the individual level: Stress and drive are not opposite ends of a spectrum

70. We have to get rid of the idea that all stress is bad. Stress is like cholesterol: there is good and bad. We should optimise good stress, and minimise the bad. We will learn to de-stress, not fall into distress.

71. In America, people do not care whether you drive a Suzuki or a Saab. In fact, there is a type of car that is a lot more fashionable than the simple family saloon, and that is the four-wheel drive. In terms of looks, this is a lot less sleek, but it is considered a lot more "cool". Why? Because it is built to take stress. It can conquer far more difficult terrain. It connotes ruggedness. And that may be what Singapore needs for the next century.

Take responsibility for ourselves

72. Despite the stress we feel, we are, after all, still masters of our own destiny. What we make of our lives depend on ourselves alone.

73. That involves setting our own goals in life, and having the determination and perseverance to realise them. We stand or fall by our own efforts. We may choose to travel the way many people have gone before, or we may choose the road less travelled. Either way, we choose. Each has its potholes; each has its hazards and obstacles. We must embark on our chosen paths with open eyes.

74. We should avoid the dependency syndrome, expecting the Government to step in and help at every turn. That may have been fine when

thoughtful consideration, with the aim of making things better, for the country and for ourselves.

II. At the family level

Support one another

81. We now live in an era of unprecedented change, and we need all the mutual support we can get to help us cope. One immediate source of support is our families. Many of us are liable to see them as a source of stress, but we can try seeing them in a different light. We can all help to make our families a haven of support, a source of strength, and a fount of growth.

82. When parents spend time with their children, it is a chance to switch channels, do something different, and thus refresh their minds. When adults spend time with aged parents, it is equally a chance to reflect, to look at life from a different perspective, and thus to recharge.

83. Many of our forefathers faced daunting challenges when they first came to Singapore from their homelands. They turned to their families and clans for help. We can do the same.

III. At the community level

Socialise to relax

84. Beyond our families are our social circles – our friends, religious groups, community organisations, clans, and other social groupings. Many of us probably see them as adding more stress to our lives. But think again: are they not also opportunities to relax? Too often, social events are seen as occasions to network, to build contacts for the bigger cause – which is, what else, Work with a capital W. Is this not self-imposed stress? The same occasions can be times for us to unwind, in the company of people

 

5. Not surprisingly, everyone had a view on this very important issue, which is: How to cope with stress, while not compromising success.

6. Isn't it strange how the two words sound so alike? Isn't it strange too that in the dictionary, the word "stress" comes before the word "success"?

7. Anyway, now that the deliberations are over, here are our findings.

These, in summary, are:

8. There is a consensus among Singaporeans that there is, without a doubt, much stress in Singapore. From the time a Singaporean is born, to the time he dies, there is much in the social environment that generates stress within the individual. That is a constant. The variable in the equation is how to deal with it, as a country and as individuals.

9. Singaporeans also agree that, while some forms of stress are bad, not all are. Stress is like a pot of boiling water. To prevent it boiling over, you have to lower the heat, loosen the lid, add more water, or creative combinations of the above. Singaporeans know that without heat, water will never boil. Then they can never have turtle soup.

10. At the same time however, every Singaporean will now and then yearn for the chance to sit back, take his or her foot off the pedal, and simply relax. This in itself is no bad thing. All Singaporeans can do that some of the time, perhaps even some Singaporeans can do that all the time. But if all Singaporeans do that all the time, then Singapore is dead. As a nation, we have to ensure that that does not happen. We must, in other words, find a balance between reducing stress while keeping the drive.

11. Singaporeans agree that the root of the problem – the nub of the issue – is the way we define success in Singapore. Over the years, we have come to define success too narrowly. It does not take a genius to know that the way success is defined in Singapore means largely two things: academic and material achievements. These are hobbies. The worker has no time to catch up on the latest management books or to upgrade his skills.

19. The overlay to all these complaints however, and in many cases the root cause of the perceived pressure of time, is the pressure of expectation. The pressure comes from parents, peers and society at large. Indeed, so pervasive is the pressure that most Singaporeans take it as a fact of life, a given, and make no attempt to break free.

20. The individual Singaporean who feels the pressure is sometimes able to articulate it, sometimes not. Generally, the better-educated and more articulate person is able to express the stress he feels in terms of a burden of expectation, but the less educated is not always able to. And because he feels a burden he is unable to articulate, it adds all the more to his stress.

21. The pressure of expectation is not merely the expectation to succeed, but to succeed within given moulds. Success is measured against clear academic, economic and material benchmarks.

22. Added to this narrow definition is the fact that many Singaporeans play multiple roles, as parents, workers and citizens. The competing demands of these often aggravate the stress levels. Most try to cope, while some simmer in silent resentment. Others vent their frustrations openly. Some speak with their feet, and migrate.

Stress in school

23. Students in Singapore face constant reminders to excel academically. These reminders come from parents, teachers, peers and society at large.

24. While this is, in itself, not a bad thing, what is insidious is that in recent years the pressure is extending further downward to ever lower education levels, to the extent that even kindergarten children are being subjected to the feeling of pressure. One five-year-old in a kindergarten was made to feel left out because she did not have tuition teachers!

25. In some kindergartens, parents are told that if their children are not enrolled in certain classes, they will lose out. Many parents pile their children with extra tuition and enrichment classes, creating strain not only on the child's time, but also on their debilitating only if the individual has not been sufficiently prepared, either through his own negligence, or his company's failure to give him adequate information.

Stress at home

34. The pressure to succeed being what it is in Singapore, oftentimes the pressure faced by school-going children translates into pressure on the parent as well. Exam fever nowadays afflicts parents as much as it does the child, if not more.

35. On the material front, the Singaporean adult faces the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses, and making sure that his children keep up as well, matching Osh-kosh with Osh-kosh, Nike with Nike, and Montessori with Montessori.

36. Parents tend to vest in their children the hopes they themselves were unable to attain in their own lives. While this is natural and not undesirable, the danger is a vicious cycle of overly high expectations. Parents of today have far higher expectations than the parents of 20 years ago, and the pressure on children is consequently greater.

Stress as a citizen

37. The stress that the Singaporean faces as a citizen of this country is that of being subject to high expectations from the state itself. Constant exhortations from the Government to excel, which are reported prominently by the local media, are cited as a source of stress.

38. It is a rather unique stress, in that citizens of few other countries face the same situation.

39. A university student at Imperial College, London, puts it this way: "The government seems constantly trying to get more out of people. Students have to take more examinations, workers have to take up more skills, and everyone has to push for higher productivity. There seems no end to this continual drive to improve."

40. While people understand that there is a need to increase productivity, stress comes from the feeling that the individual Singaporean is being pushed into prescribed moulds. The Imperial College student said: "There is a general feeling that the government has created a model of an ideal Singapore society, and is trying to make benchmarks, Singapore is a good place to live and work, but not a good place to live alone. "To live without working in Singapore is like putting a 35-year-old into a retirement home," the Berkeley student says.

48. Singaporeans have been told that to stay economically relevant, the country must provide competitive services. This message has been driven home so well that some Singaporeans, when asked to describe Singapore, describe it in purely economic terms, such as having the best airport, or second busiest container port.

49. These same Singaporeans would also measure themselves using purely economic yardsticks – the five Cs. And when they have obtained the five Cs, they turn their attention towards upgrading components in them -- their cars and condos.

Ill effects of a narrow definition of success An unforgiving society

50. Singaporeans have become so accustomed to narrow definitions of success in their own lives that unconsciously they apply the same narrowness to other people. When asked what he would think if the Singapore team climbing Mount Everest did not make it to the top, one junior college student said they would have failed. He said, "How can they take money from the President's Star Charity and not make it?"

51. The student's remark highlights the danger of Singapore turning into an unforgiving society, one that gives "no second chance" to people who fail to make it according to prescribed yardsticks. If widespread enough, this trait also makes for an ungracious society.

Culture of risk aversion

52. At the national level, the same trait encourages a culture of risk aversion, as people fear to venture beyond the tried and tested for fear of failing. This is contrary to the dynamic risk takers Singapore needs.

53. At the personal level, the fear of failure is an unnecessary source of stress and a waste of time. "We spend too much time stressing out over the risk of failure," said an Imperial College student.

Social stigmatisation

62. There is no passion without freedom of choice. Whoever heard of a passionate love affair between a match-made couple?

Why do we need to redefine success?

63. American composer Irving Berlin once said, "The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success." How true this is for Singapore! If Singapore had not been successful in its first 33 years as an independent sovereign nation; there would not have been a need for our committee today, because the dilemma would simply not exist.

64. However, to keep on being a success is easier said than done. Sometimes the very things that have contributed to success can themselves lead to stress. Anthony Storr, a famous British psychiatrist, once said: "It is a tragic paradox that the very qualities that have led to man's extraordinary capacity for success are also those most likely to destroy him." His comment concerned individuals, but it applies equally to societies. In Singapore, affluence can threaten to lead to a divide between the haves and the have-nots. This could then lead to a society that is uncohesive. Lack of cohesion brings about a higher level of stress. Singapore cannot afford such a society.

65. Singapore focused mainly on economics in its early years. This was, as it should be, because Singapore is a small nation, tied inextricably to the global trading system. We could survive as a nation only because we made ourselves useful to the world. In the years to come, economics will continue to dominate Singapore's agenda, for that is the reality: compete or perish.

66. In such an environment, it is natural for Singaporeans to associate self-worth with economic success. We measure ourselves and each other by material achievements. However, now that Singapore is moving into more advanced phases of development, these criteria may have become too narrow. We need now to have a wider definition of self-worth.

67. A good example of a society that that has managed to be economically competitive yet encompassing a broader sense of self-worth is Silicon Valley. In many ways, the competition there is even more intense, but people do not treat the pursuit of material wealth as an end in itself. They are less likely to be stressed over a Singapore was still relatively young as a nation, and there were huge obstacles to overcome. But Singapore is now 33 – and that is an age old enough to become independent of paternal protection.

75. We have to be passionate about pursuing our goals. We must believe in our talents, and have the courage to forge our own way. We will continue trying, even if we do not succeed at first.

Be the best that you can be 76. Every one of us matters. Every single one, regardless of education, income or occupation. We care that every Singaporean feels himself a worthy being and a worthy citizen. In the Singapore of the future, we would like to see a society that recognises talents and abilities at all levels, beyond economic and academic achievements. 77. For the individual, it means "being the best that you can be". This involves making the best use of the abilities and talents that nature has endowed us with. This is actually not as easy as it sounds, because first we have to know ourselves. We have to have self-knowledge. And after that, sometimes in being the best that we can be, we run up against the expectations placed on us, by parents, peers or society.

78. As a society, we should become more broad-minded in the way we define success. We should cease being so seized by the five Cs.

79. We should still aim, as a nation, for excellence in things like having world class universities, hospitals, or the world's best airport. These are tangible goals, which once attained, does the nation proud. As Singaporeans, we can bask in the nation's success. But we are not mere digits in the nation's grand plan; we are individuals, each with talents and capabilities, and we must strive for individual excellence of our own.

80. As Singaporeans, we will become "active citizens", not mere passive ones. We all have a stake in this country. It is our home, and we will do all that is necessary to make it good. We will keep ourselves well-informed of issues and challenges facing the country, instead of leaving it to the Government to do all the thinking for us. We will offer well-thought out ideas and suggestions, and insightful feedback. Where need be, we will offer criticisms that are founded on with shared interests. Are we not depriving ourselves if we do not avail ourselves of these opportunities to share in human warmth?

IV. At the national level

Every Singaporean matters

85.Our society as a whole must broaden our concept of success. We need to recognise a variety of talents and skills beyond academic or material success. We need to maximise potential not just of the most able, but of every Singaporean. We must give everyone a second chance.

86. We do not run but one race in life. We run multiple races, and some we lose, others we win. We have to learn to forgive those who do not win; equally importantly, we have to learn to forgive ourselves, and try again. The spirit of marathon, and the belief that we can triumph against the odds, are fundamental values we must reinforce in Singapore society. In this, everyone has a part to play. Every Singaporean matters.

Conclusion 87. We do not claim the above ideas to be all original Many Singaporeans, concerned about Singapore's future, have already voiced many of these ideas. They are ingredients towards creating the ideal society we hope for Singapore, which will result in this island being our best home. By putting them together, we hope to play the role of menu planner. The ultimate role of chef is up to you, our fellow Singaporean.

About the Author: Sri Amit Singh is Director, Pacific Consulting Services, Singapore. He can be reached at: amitsingh@post.com

NAVIGATION PARTNERS FOLLOW US ON ADDRESS

Home Google Scholar Facebook B.Brains Scholastic Center (under BBrains Development Society), Patna (Bihar), India
About us CrossRef Twitter Tel no: +91-8002359537
Contact Us Open Journal Systems Linkedin Mail Id: bbmanthan@gmail.com



Copyright © Biharbrains.org 2005-2024. All rights reserved.